That's it.
That's just life.
And the moment we want to close our eyes and deny that life is not so unpredictable we stop ourselves from preparing for the very thing that can hurt us.
Its not because we don't want to be prepared, its because we don't accept that something bad can happen to good people.
But it does.
So how can one soften the blow of such unexpected events? Expect them.
Now, you'll say, "But life is good, and it's ridiculous to prepare for things that you cannot foresee."
Well, you're right.
And you're wrong.
Let me explain.
Yes, it's difficult to know exactly what skills or resources you'll need for something that hasn't happened yet. And yes, life is good... until it isn't.
And it is ridiculous... or at least it feels awkward to try to grasp the unforeseen so as to say, "Oh, I understand... This is what I need for that."
But, you see... That's the fallacy. We don't prepare with a detailed list as if we were shopping. We prepare in general with attitude, with mental strength, with an emotional support system.
Consider this: A woman loses a loved one to xyz. She didn't see it coming. It's an unexpected event. She turns to her emotional support group who help her by listening, giving words of comfort, providing services that she might be overwhelmed to do.
She relies on her mental strength with her perspective of life, of God, of looking back at the many good times she spent with her loved one. In time, she discovers new opportunities, because although she misses her loved one, she doesn't allow that to stop her from enjoying new experiences in life.
She has an attitude that includes accepting she's not in control of life or of anyone, that although she has lost a loved one, she still has her own life to live.
Contrast that to someone else who, upon experiencing the same event, will have no friends to turn to for support (because she hasn't bothered to build friendships), who sinks in darkness because this event means that "all is lost", and who cannot see that there is still a person with potential (herself) who has many days of life yet to live.
Do you see the difference?
So, how do you build those skills and resources for those curve balls in life?
Well, it's something you build over time. Look up videos and check out books on these suggestions:
1. Be a friend. Pray for good friends to come into your life. And cherish them.
2. Arm yourself with perspective. Read books about others' struggles and accomplishments. Understand yourself. Strengthen your mind. Research mental distortions like "all or nothing", "black and white", etc.. Mental attitudes lead to emotions which lead to actions. Make your weaknesses become less of a weakness by strength-training your mind.
3. Understand that none of us are in control. Not you. Not me. Not the President of the United States. There are only limited things we can actually control, and those are mostly within ourselves, meaning our way of reacting to things, of interpreting what is going on around us, of the things we tell ourselves when describing what is happening in our lives. That is pretty much it, which means that you cannot (positively) control people or events. Think about how much of life that entails. Then, LET GO, and live your life the best you can.
Arming yourself with the skills to take life's curve balls is not a quick stop at the market for some essentials. Neither is it a race to see who wins.
It's an every day work out. It's a way of life.
It's not something you might've been gifted from your parents, so you might have to work harder at it. But it's worth it!
It's as worth it as saving up for years to take the vacation of your dreams, because when that curve ball hits you (and sometimes you'll even see it coming before it hits you), the reward of recovery and moving on is very worth the time spent on preparing.
I hope this article helps expand your understanding, that you can see a slightly wider perspective of what it means to be strong- mentally and emotionally. I wish you the determination to prepare for life's curve balls so when they hit, you can savor the product of your hard work.
